Game Over.

Monday, December 21, 2009 { Monday, December 21, 2009 }

; Oh so badly does it sting.

Went bowling today , took pictures but then wont be uploading.
So unglam.
I wasn`t feeling well , i did`nt want to go , but dad forced me , and no one else seem to have been bothered , everyone was like just go just go .
If i would have freaking fainted how ? , No one understands.
The amount of pain i went through just to make everyone happy .
After the 4th game , i was in serious pain , it was so unbearable , i went to the toilet to cry.
No one was there for me , i did`nt want to ruin anyone`s mood , therefore i remained silent.
I tried controlling the pain , but i couldn`t . Then i asked dad for his car keys , talked to sham , and then i cried on the phone again , i just kept saying i wanna go home.
I did`nt eat the whole freaking day thanks to this. It was so hard to eat.
I drank ice lemon tea and took 4 bites of the food and that was my meal for the day.
I`m feeling like shit now , seriously , I have no mood , i`m sad for no reason .
And no one freaking bothers.
Thanks sham for calling me and wasting your prepaid , meant loads loads :D
Thanks karthik for being there : D
You best buy me my burger before you come my house tomorrow !

My poem ; i wrote it myself.

; I gave you my all , but you just didn`t care overall.
I wanted you so bad , the amount of tears i`ve shed.
Have you ever once cared ? , Haven`t you felt bad?.
Never have i been played out this much , i yearn for your touch.
All i wanted was a chance for us , but i get i should just let all this be my horrible past.
I tried so hard to understand you , look at how fast time flew.
Guess i`m never fit to be with you , Fixing the pieces of my broken heart with glue.
I`m falling apart once again , this will leave on my heart an unremovable stain.

Just keep on not bothering if you really want to lose me .
One day , this hurt will go away , though the scar will remain behind and remind me that the person i once loved the most , never really loved me back , but yet the scar is a big one , and hurts everytime i touch it.♥
So much for saying you aint leaving , never.
So much for saying you aint gonna let go.
I don`t wanna break you no more.. i see that u have put so much into this .. i haven't and i`m willing to put in as much right now.
Oh yeah , you are putting in ALOOOOT of effort.
You aren`t even trying.
U don`t want to break me no more ? , i`m hurt again .
You know , i don`t blame you , it`s a chore for me to get hurt . A daily routine.
Yeah you are a hard person to understand , but somehow i managed to put that behind and still try my best.
How much can i put in you tell me ? , it works two ways.
I feel so hurt you know , it`s like every word i`m typing , my heart just drops .
So much space given , yet i still don't get what is wrong.
What i lack to please you.
I really feel like crying and sometimes giving up .
But i know i won`t give up .
I did`nt the first time , i won`t now , and i will never.
its like you want me to hate you.
You enjoy life , without even thinking there is someone who stays up almost the whole night just to receive your text message .
After getting it , it makes her happy and she`s able to sleep.
Even though she`s ill , she still waits , hoping that everyday the text will come earlier and earlier.
Don`t feel guilty cause i never told you any of this , i did`nt want to .
But then it sucks , i put in so much love , effort and care and seriously nothing comes back in return.
Only waiting , waiting , waiting.
You simply avoid replying when i start a quarrel.
Which never helps things get better.
I`m lost .
Seriously lost.
How can someone not feel anything after knowing how much a girl loves em ?
It`s called heartless , which i really hope you`r not.

Trying to fix the broken pieces.
Hoho.
SharenCAUR.